How I got the Swine Flu.

Chris and I took a little jaunt into a horrific obnoxious popular part of Santa Monica known as 3rd Street Promenade to go to West Elm to buy some curtains for the living room. We hit pay dirt, found exactly what we were looking for and were heading home for a delicious lunch of Bagel Bites and pasta salad when out of nowhere it happened. I heard it before I even felt it....but oh man did I feel it. A older shorter woman walked right up next to my arm....and f'ing coughed on me. She didn't just cough in the general area. She used my arm as though it were her own. I could feel the puff of hot H1N1 breath and I turned and saw her face just about an inch from my bicep. I was, with complete justification, horrified, disgusted and mostly pissed the fuck off. It was so blatant and out of line that it seemed intentional. A complete violation of not only my personal space but of social rules that say you just don't fucking cough ON ANOTHER PERSON!!!!

No. She didn't apologize.

Yes. I yelled at her.

No. She didn't notice.

Yes. I came home and washed my hands, arm and sweater.

Yes. I believe I now have the Swine Flu.

I'll keep you all updated on my diagnosis.