Thursday, November 8, 2007

Peak Inside My Brain...Welcome!

A few weeks ago Chris was working late on a Friday night and I had just come down with a cold. I was logging some quality couch hours pondering the larger questions in life while watching back to back episodes of "What Not To Wear" and chugging Airborne when Chris finally came home around 11:30pm. As he plopped down on the couch I turned to him and said "So I've been thinking about something serious...".

Let's take a break in my story for a moment to discuss how if you ever want to see true panic in your boyfriend's eyes and all the color drain from your his face all you have to do is turn to him and say "I've been thinking about something serious...". what I'd been thinking about is something I still find myself pondering. If we were ever attacked by zombies or vampires...would I be one of the ones that survive? At this point you're probably scoffing and shaking your head, but I'M SERIOUS!! If our town was under attack and zombies were trying to break down the door would I be one of the people that movie watchers would see and know "she's toast" or would I be the bad ass chick with a sawed off shotgun blasting the heads off plague infested zombie killers! It's an important question. It also depends entirely on whether we're talking about slow Shaun of the Dead zombies or if we're talking about smart, fast and crazy zombies like in 28 Days Later. (And yes I'm aware that some people don't consider those to be zombies, but rather ordinary people who had been "infected". I call them zombies. My blog.) I'm thinking more along the lines of fast zombie monsters although if caught in a crowd of slow zombies I'm not sure what my strategy would be since I'm entirely aware that pretending to be one of them does diddly squat. I could go on and on. It also makes me wonder whether I would be able to outsmart a crazed killer who had pinpointed me as a target. Would I find a way to trap him and escape or would I be the one running upstairs to my impending demise.

So many questions.

I also burned my tongue this morning as I got a little overzealous with my tea. I subsequently spilled said tea all over my keyboard. Welcome to my life.


Meghan said...

hmmmm.... i'm not sure what my thoughts are on this other than... you're weird.

:) xoxo

Daniel Lee said...

You wouldn't die right away. A zombie would tear off your leg, but Kelly and I would pull you into our Jeep and take off while Chris manned the GAT that we'd sloppily welded to the roof of the vehicle and picked off the undead that dared give chase.

Then later you'd be coughing up infected zombie blood and I'd have to shake you violently and scream, "Don't die on me, damn you!!!"

And THEN you'd go.

Buuut.... you'd come back. Oh, yes, you'd come back. As a zombie.

But a hero zombie. You'd play spy vs spy, acting as though you were in league with the evil zombies, then bringing back crucial intel to our side.

That's how it'd go down.

Daniel Lee said...

"There's still good in her," I'd say to Chris.

And we'd each put a hand on the other's shoulder reassuringly.

"T-Bone" Lee said...

After all the chaos was over would you keep me around as a pet? Or would I still get to sleep inside and eat at the dinner table? We'd probably have to keep that a secret. I wouldn't be able to work anymore. Would you help support me?

"T-Bone" Lee said...

Maybe Chris and I need to have a serious talk tonight....

Megan said...

I don't even know what to say. I am dying laughing. THIS is why I love you so much! :) xoxo