Thursday, May 14, 2009

I have begun to molt.

The peeeeling.....ick.

I woke up yesterday morning and my shirt was stuck to my back. Literally, actually stuck. Chris spent 10 minutes slowly peeling my tank top off of the sunburn.....inch by inch. Apparently I had not let the aloe dry long enough before climbing into bed and sleeping firmly planted on my back all night long....

I suddenly had flashbacks to the time I locked my finger in my car door which rendered me sans nail and with a few stiches. The next day the gauze from the dressing had stuck to my fingernailless open exposed wound....and after hours of trying to remove the gauze at home the nurse at Urgent Care RIPPED it off....causing the wound to ooze and bleed while my mom resisted the urge to punch the nurse in the face and I let out a loud 'FUUUUUUUCK!!!"

This time was similar...except without the blood, oozing, open wound and visit to urgent care....but there was some cussing....and this time the nurse was hot.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I fought the lawn and the sun won.

Over the last couple months, as we've watched our backyard whither and die, I would stare out of our bedroom sliders or the kitchen window, shake my head and make comments about how we should really get to work on the backyard because pretty soon we'd have to accessorize with some beer cans and cigarette butts to accompany the dead grass, giant holes and empty flower beds.

It didn't really hit me until I realized that the state of our backyard was bothering me more than any other project in our house, that we really needed to get on that. We spent a big chunk of the weekend doing some hefty landscaping...which included complete removal of ferns from one of the flower beds (not and easy task I tell you), transplanting a 100lb (it took both of us to move it) Iris from a pot into the yard, planting some pretty flowers and bushes, reseeding and fertilizing the lawn and fencing off the whole darn thing so Indy could stay out of it.

Saturday we worked later in the afternoon as it cooled down and it was nice.....

Sunday I tried to get an early jump on I headed outside around 10am....wearing a long sleeve it got hotter i took off the long sleeve shirt.......not realizing all of a sudden it was 1:00 in the afternoon. 

You know how they say you should avoid the sun during the hours of 10:00am and 3:00pm because the sun's rays are the worst?

You should listen to them.
I should listen to them. 
If only there were some kind of creme or lotion I could have put on to prevent this whole thing....

($10 says I get a lot of lectures about skin cancer out of this post)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Did I mention we're going on vacation and that I haven't been on vacation in 10 years? No? Good. Let me tell you. Ad nauseam.

I don't have much to say here today....except that since posting about our upcoming vacation I can't stop thinking about it....I google pictures and am doing research every day. If I need a quick (errr...not so quick?) distraction at work I start doing research on renting cars on the island and electrical adapters and where to shop and what to bring and ooooh look at how white that sand and how blue that water is.....siiiiiiiigh. I need to stop. It's not healthy to be this excited almost 3 months out. I can't sustain this kind of interest....and if I can...if I only get more excited...well, I'll be no good for anyone. I'm afraid that as the weeks pass my only response to anyone trying to engage me in conversation will be "DIDITELLYOUWHEREI'MGOINGONVACATIONONMYGODI'MSOEXCITED!!". followed by my own googled pre vacation slide show full of pictures of beach umbrellas and white sand. And then my head will explode.

Maybe I should make out a list of possible conversation topics that do not completely surround the idea that in just 2(ish) months I'll be spending a full 7 nights on a tropical paradise surrounded only by the sound of waves and calypso music (note: calypso music not guaranteed). 

On another note that also involves complete distraction from work.....

If you feel like losing days of your life to the roller coaster of frustration and triumph that can only come from brain teasers, do yourself a favor and go here:

However, if you value your employment...and sanity...I recommend staying away. It will drive you crazy  while making you feel retarded and brilliant all at the same time. I'm currently on #32. 

Monday, May 4, 2009

11 Weeks and Counting

No...I'm not pregnant. 

But.... We did it. We finally did it. I almost don't even want to type it out lest it disappear in a whiff.....


So I'll whisper it.

We booked our flights and hotel for our vacation to St. Maarten!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO...I mean...whoooooo!



I am. Beyond. Excited.


We had to push the date by two weeks from my original week past Chris' original plan (we had apparently failed to communicate about dates) because the price of flights was better. All in all I think I found us a great deal and barring any kind of weather tragedy I think it's going to be AWWWWWESOOME!!! 

We've got 11 weeks before we leave. Which is a painfully long amount of time....but also long enough for me to find my sunglasses, buy a new bathing suit, and procure a fun floppy sun hat which I will wear while laying on a beach with a cocktail in one hand and a bottle of SPF 75 in the other (for Chris. He's gonna burn like a forgotten burger at a BBQ)...hehee....YAY!!

Wanna see where we're gonna stay? Wanna? Wanna? Okay! Stop hassling me! We're staying at The Grand Case Beach Club.

All the reviews we read said the same thing- that is was a quiet part of the island with not so crowded beaches and an easy walk to good restaurants. All of which sounds awesome to us. Not to mention we will be able to afford an ocean view...which I didn't realize made me so happy until I booked it.....ahhhh...I can hear the sound of the waves now....

I had a dream the other night that we were on vacation and I woke up happier than I had in YEARS.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

How I got the Swine Flu.

Chris and I took a little jaunt into a horrific obnoxious popular part of Santa Monica known as 3rd Street Promenade to go to West Elm to buy some curtains for the living room. We hit pay dirt, found exactly what we were looking for and were heading home for a delicious lunch of Bagel Bites and pasta salad when out of nowhere it happened. I heard it before I even felt it....but oh man did I feel it. A older shorter woman walked right up next to my arm....and f'ing coughed on me. She didn't just cough in the general area. She used my arm as though it were her own. I could feel the puff of hot H1N1 breath and I turned and saw her face just about an inch from my bicep. I was, with complete justification, horrified, disgusted and mostly pissed the fuck off. It was so blatant and out of line that it seemed intentional. A complete violation of not only my personal space but of social rules that say you just don't fucking cough ON ANOTHER PERSON!!!!

No. She didn't apologize.
Yes. I yelled at her.
No. She didn't notice.
Yes. I came home and washed my hands, arm and sweater.
Yes. I believe I now have the Swine Flu.

I'll keep you all updated on my diagnosis.