Thursday, October 29, 2009

I feel bad...but not bad enough not to press "publish post".

Friends, Internets, Strangers....I'd like to tell you a story about my friend....hmmmm what shall we call him to maintain his anonymity....ah well...fuck it...it's Linus. That's his real name. (Hi Linus!).

Just a few months after I moved to LA (six years ago) I got a panicked phone call from Linus telling me he needed me to take him to the hospital because he was REALLY sick. I immediately hopped in my car and rushed out to the west side not knowing the lay of the land or where ANY hospitals were. At the time Linus was attending a certain southern california film school (anonymity!) and was on a student health plan which required him to use a specific hospital. I asked him what hospital, but he didn't know...so I tried calling his mother or sister...or the nurse associated with the school's health plan...all while driving around Los Angeles in the dark, a strange part of a new city while Linus moaned and whined in the passenger seat. Finally we decided to just go back to his apartment...where I made him some Airborne....as it fizzed Linus whined about why it was so bubbly and fizzy and how he couldn't drink it and how it tasted bad. I made him soup...and as he took a sip he gagged dramatically and spit it back in the bowl...I thought maybe he was about to yak....but no....the soup was just too hot. Poor little bunny.

It should known that Linus didn't have the bird flu (that was all the rage at the time) or an appendicitis....so don't think me cruel...sure he was sick, but...well...c'mon. He was "man sick".

So...I came across this little gem of a clip on dooce.com....(read her entry about her husband's vasectomy. so funny.) and could not restrain myself from writing this post....sorry Linus....I told you! I COULDN'T resist. I tried...but I COULDN'T.


2 comments:

Meghan said...

hahaha, love that video!

Hi Linus!! :)

thelinusblog said...

hahaha you weirdo.

ok Jess - I don't understand... you saw the video and thought of me? How flattering, first of all, that upon seeing a fat man, you thought of me.

Secondly, I must clarify a few facts - as your retelling of this anecdote four years after it happened has undoubtedly colored your perception of actual events. :-) ;-) I had just finished up my film (followed up with a week-long drinking binge) so my immune system was basically shot. And the last bar I remember being at was the Beauty Bar in Hollywood - which is renowned for its high incidence of staff infections on rims of glasses. Plus, when they took me to the hospital, they actually gave me A SPINAL TAP... I hear that you can't just ask for one of those.

And "man sick" - isn't that just a mild form of "woman crazy"?


Hi Meghan!!