Friday, September 21, 2007

Just. Plain. Sick.

There are a few things that I find REALLY, truly and genuinely disgusting.

Office kitchens, for example, are one of the most foul places on the planet. -I'm writing this blog after standing in my office kitchen waiting for my hot water in the microwave.- Everything in our office kitchen seems dirty. It seems....used. The coffee pot that someone once pulled out of the box and admired as brand new, sits completely unused, covered in brown stains and calcium deposits. The white plastic has faded to a dingy yellow and no one seems to care. The toaster oven, which OBVIOUSLY has seen a lot of use, sits so covered in bagel crumbs and grime that no one will touch it even to clean it. An old bag of peanuts (shells on) sits opened on the counter as though it had just been brought in as an office treat...i'm sad to admit when desperate hunger and boredom hits me at 4:00pm I've been known to sneak a few of these...I'm not dead yet, so the peanuts are really the least of the worries. There is a wicker basket full of styrofoam cups holding utensils and random packets of tea and opened/half eaten instant oatmeal. The biggest conundrum of it all are the office kitchen mugs. Who do these mysterious mugs belong to? I'm starting to believe they were here long before we arrived in this office. They sit strewn about, sometimes with coffee or tea stains in them. They come and's obvious people are using them. Due to a serious lack of styrofoam cups (not that i approve of styrofoam) I have resorted to drinking my Ginger Tea this morning out of a Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. mug with a smiley face on it that says "stupid is as stupid does". I feel like it's talking to me...I've washed it thoroughly. It still feels dirty.

Along the same lines of the office kitchen filth...I also find the following incredibly disgusting:

1.) Toilet lids being left up (not just the seat, but the whole know feces can spray up to five feet when you flush. now think about where you put your toothbrush).

2.) Men and women with long toenails who insist on wearing sandals (Birkenstocks? add 5 points).
2.a) Men with long fingernails. ew.

3.) People who walk the streets of LA barefoot...especially celebrities.

4.) People who publicly snort their snot. Especially next to me in a quiet movie theatre.
4.a) Men who spit.

5.) Black hair in the corner of people's bathrooms...i'm not sure why, but black hair is way more nasty looking once it's detached from the head. I apologize if you're offended. deal with it. my blog. get your own.

6.) The white goo that collects around the corner of someone's mouth when they're talking too much and getting dry mouth. Especially when they refuse to take a sip of water.

But I digress....

There are just some things in the world I will just not why some people wear Crocs.


Chris and Angela said...

Jessie you are dead on. I could add a few more disgusting things in an office kitchen, I will start with the sponge, don't you ever use that sponge, I have seen people wiping some pretty disgusting things with that. I use soap in a paper towel and rinse my cup with hot water.

Chris and Angela said...

...and what about the water cooler? I have seen people put the water bottle right up against the spigot. YUCK!!! That water bottle was in their mouth now their saliva is all over the spigot!!!

Chris and Angela said...

...another pet peeve: people that leave their dirty mugs or their vase with stinky water in it in the kitchen sink waiting for someone else to wash it for them.

The list is endless...

Nathan said...

in the munich office i was working out of, they had a maid that came at night, washed the stock of silverware and dishes... and cleaned out our conference room of all our garbage. probably ends up cheaper than disposable stuff, and is much nicer to just go grab the closest oktoberfest mug to drink your coffee out of.

TLee said...

why don't you bring in your own cup and sponge? let the other bitches use the nasty stuff.